As an escort, I have had my fair share of strange festive requests. There are the typical ones such as,”I want you to dress in a rubber Mrs Claus outfit”. They are often quite particular – right down to the sort of shoes, color of the underwear, as well as the depth of the tights.
Escorts see customers on a one-to-one foundation – that could be for anything from dinner and a chat to complete sex. ‘Sex workers’ is an umbrella term that refers to anyone working within the sex industry. The web site includes a feedback system, which means that you can see what other escorts have said about their previous clients. Once I have confirmed a customer, we pre-agree everything through email; not just what I will wear, but also exactly what the sex acts will be. I had one Christmas customer who asked if he could delight me with candy canes. I clearly said no – you are likely to have a UTI or yeast infection if you start putting sugary treats up there, so it is not a fantastic idea.
Christmas is a busy period for an escort. Everyone’s in a celebratory mood and my customers will have put a little money aside to treat themselves. I meet them at a resort or, if they fancy watching me for a complete weekend, I will book a serviced apartment. Occasionally they come directly from doing their Christmas shopping, laden with bags of gifts for their families.
I have been a sex worker for approximately seven years now. I got to the industry via webcamming – that I began doing while I was studying anthropology at college. I had a job to finance my diploma and wanted something with flexible hours that I could fit around my research. People essentially pay you to talk to them online and, occasionally, take off your clothes. It was quite well compensated, as not that many people did it, but the sector has gotten really saturated and now it is much more difficult to earn anything.
I began dating sugar daddies about a year to the entire camming thing. At the moment, it was this surreal underground world of wealthy bankers and teenaged university students. They would take me to members clubs in the City and Michelin-starred restaurants. Purchasing the business of a young woman for the day was an ego boost for them as purchasing a round of expensive shots to their buddies.
I come from a working class background, I had never seen places like those – it was an eye-opening encounter. I did sleep with a few of these, so finally escorting — in the manner I do it today, where customers can book a couple of hours of my time — seemed like the natural measure. I have multiple revenue streams – escorting is one, pornography is just another – I like to think of it as a portfolio career.
The first time I met a customer, I was nervous. I have never been shy about being naked, so that part did not worry me. I was just worried it may be awkward. I also concerned about practical things – who would undress who? What if my clip-in hair extensions dropped out? With the sugar daddies, I had gotten to know them a bit, we had had dinners – it felt more like a traditional dating situation. Now, however, it would be a good deal more transactional.
I read up a lot ahead on how to stay safe as a sex worker and made sure I understood what the law stated (in England it’s not illegal to sell or pay for sex), and what I could do if something went wrong.
He asked me to look elegant, commendable , and also to wear whole make-up. Walking to the hotel, I ran through what I’d do and say, I had a situation worked out in my mind. When it came to it, the sex itself was unremarkable, like the type you could have using a one-night stand but the guy was nice. I had been in and out within thirty minutes.
In a normal week, I might have anywhere between one and 20 customers. And my prices vary – on the summer that I lower them since business is slower, I guess because people are going on vacation. Or I put them up if BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism) is involved, as I could be left with bruises and marks on my body later.
Sometimes I really do feel vulnerable. Recently, I moved to a man’s house and when I walked in, I realised there was no furniture. My heart began pounding, although he quickly explained that it was because he had just moved in. I have had my share of bad experiences. I feel like, when I am discussing sex work, there is pressure to be”the happy hooker” who enjoys her job and always has type respectful customers or to discuss horrible experiences. It’s tough to get a balance. The reality is, it is a nuanced conversation, occasionally there are bad days, but more often than not it is fine.
I believe Christmas is an emotional time for many us – to get an escort this means that there is far more emotional labour involved. Often, I end up hearing a lot of failing marriages, loneliness and work pressures. Once, a client booked me a couple of days before Christmas. We went to a beautiful hotel, had a couple of drinks and then he broke down. He had been going through a divorce and it was the first Christmas that he’d be spending without his children. I guess in those circumstances, if you have been married for quite a long time, you probably don’t have that many impartial friends you can talk to. I truly felt for him.
I am not a therapist, and likely not equipped to provide advice on those issues, but you would need to be pretty heartless not to console somebody who’s going through such a difficult time.
It’s made me think about how folks approach relationships. When I hear some of those stories I think,’Well, if you had been open with your spouse, and spoke about your wants and desires, you may not be in this position’. It has made me see the value of honesty and communication in relationships and think carefully about how I could make my own work.
All this uncertainty over Brexit is having an effect on business. I have a great deal of friends in the business and they are all saying the exact same thing: there are fewer customers and they are more careful with their money. When the economy appears shaky, individuals are less inclined to spend on luxury goods and services.
Meanwhile, I am just going to enjoy my Christmas. I have stopped working today, though I might see a few customers between Christmas and New Year. On 25 December itself, I am using a sex workers’ get-together in London. I have hired a serviced apartment with a couple friends that are also in the market, and we are going to have a beautiful family-style Christmas. I can not wait to get back to http://kostenlosersexchat.net